Headed Someplace
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Getting to Patagonia...
Getting to Patagonia...

My husband and I just got back from an epic anniversary / dirty 30 trip. We will actually celebrate 6 years of marriage next month, but this trip was to celebrate 5 years, mixed with the fact that I turned thirty in the fall and was feeling the need for a getaway with my man whilst not pregnant or breastfeeding.

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Road trippin' with the Littles
Road trippin' with the Littles

I recently took a few long road trips with my two-under-two boys and have learned a few things. I’m mainly writing this post for myself to revisit before planning another road trip without any other independent humans.

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They call it fetal demise
They call it fetal demise

I have thought about writing this post for weeks, always ending up at “no way.” Mostly, I feel guilty for putting more sad into the world, and then I feel guilty because people are experiencing much worse suffering...

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CONNECT WITH ME

Austin friends! I’d love to see you Wednesday night! I’ll share a little of my grief journey throughout the songs and I cannot WAIT to hear from my friend @jlgerhardt_godscout who’s hosting the evening. She was with me through the freshness of grief after losing my mom. She drove 3 hours with her husband and two little girls to my mom's funeral, never having met her. And a week later, made the same drive to my wedding. I sat across from her time after time crying, afraid I'd never even be able to laugh or smile or be myself again. Sad that I wasn't the new wife I had hoped I'd be. She mostly listened. And when she gave advice, I listened. She entered into my grief because she knew it all too well... And to say I'm honored to share the stage with her Wednesday night is an incredible understatement. I cannot wait ❤️
I know it’s hard to see because #camo but two of my fellas are under all that. This weekend we decide to #divideandconquer -Derek taught Rye how to be quiet in a tree stand and I taught Sully about Chili’s chips and salsa with ranch dressing 😬😬🙊 #GuiltyPleasure
Something I’m loving about my thirties: settling into who I am, who I was created to be, being ok with not being good at everything, slowing down and enjoying the things I love! And I’m discovering how much I LOVE “creating“ in the kitchen. And not to be overly spiritual, but it’s some of my favorite time talking with God. I just love the colors and textures and flavors and beauty that can come from throwing things together that he dreamed up. And when I get to see friends enjoying something I created with him, I can’t help but think that’s a tiny glimpse of the pride he feels when he watches us enjoy one another. . These are two cakes for my friend @jessicaraemayfield and her baby Ames coming so sooooooon! Recipes from @halfbakedharvest: #chocolatecake with #fudge filling and #saltedcaramel buttercream ||| #whitechocolate cake with #blackberrylavender jam
I cannot wait to yoga with this one tomorrow morning. Okie friends, come join me at 6AM @thislandyoga . I bought the $7 Halloween special thingy ma-bob. I hope I did it right 😬🤷🏼‍♀️ @saradawn.hall im already breathing a little slower and deeper just thinking about getting to flow with youuuuuu
A couple times a year my living room looks like this. Sorting through the last season and sizes of the boys’ clothing and making room for the next. Getting rid of the excess we somehow manage to continually accumulate. I don’t usually get sad about my babes growing up. And I’m not sad right now, but as I folded these little alligator 🐊 PJ’s to put away, I couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy about the days and years ahead. I love that they laugh at me and play with me and get excited when Derek or I walk through the door. I love the joy in their little bodies and the lack of fear in their sweet eyes. I get sad about them getting older and experiencing the world and getting hurt and feeling pain and having reason to fear. So I guess that’s what I like about them being little. They don’t know yet. I know pain and sorrow isn’t the worst. But sometimes i just wanna be one-sided and pretend this is all they’ll ever experience. Wrestling with dad and playing pretend and making up songs with mom. And just all the giggles in all the land. And squeezey little thighs with no body image issues 😂😂 #butForRil
If that ain’t brown water, I don’t know what is. . This morning was one of our more successful fishing trips. Lots of big fish? Ehhh. Boys kept wining to a minimum? YESSSSSSS 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻👏🏻🎉🎉🎉🤘🏻